"Congratulations! . . ."

I got my official letter of acceptance from Cal Lutheran today! My new life as a grad school student will begin soon. I already broke the news to my boss that my last day of work will be August 14th. She was shocked and disappointed that I'm leaving, but happy for me. I'm going to be leaving this job on good terms with the company, which is good for future job searches.

I'm already getting anxious about the cost of private school. Oh, man! I'm gonna be in so much debt two years from now!

~LOVE~

Waiting

Just so you all know--my interview at CLU went well last Monday. Thank you for the prayers and positive vibes. I was super nervous for the first couple of minutes of the interview and I could tell I was talking a little too fast, but I eased into the interview and was a lot more "sure" of myself and spoke coherently for the remainder. I answered the questions honestly, and my advisor seemed interested in my background with multi-cultural issues, Ethnic Studies, Upward Bound, and English. She said my GPA was great and that all my letters of recommendation were good, so she said it would be hard for her to imagine me not getting into the program. The final decision is made by a committee and I have been told I would be notified within two weeks. I don't know if the notification comes via e-mail or snail-mail, so I've been jumping each time my Blackberry buzzes and anticipating an envelope from Cal Lutheran in my mailbox each afternoon. So far, nothing. But no news is good news at this point.

At the end of the interview, my advisor essentially told me what classes I'll be registering for in the Fall (with days and times of class meetings), which I take as a sign that I'm already in. Now I'm just waiting for notification to make it official. Once I am officially notified, I'll be putting in my notice at work. I want my last day to be August 14th (the day before Fernando and I leave for San Diego for his 28th birthday trip). Classes start September 2nd!

I'm getting pretty antsy as it has almost been two weeks already. I filled out my FAFSA already to keep myself busy in the meantime. Now, I'm just waiting . . .

~LOVE~

CLU Admissions Interview

Please send all your spare positive energy to me on Monday, July 13th at 4:30pm PST. A solid half-hour of good vibes should be sufficient. Thanks in advance!

~LOVE~

Cal Lutheran

I just got a call today from Cal Lutheran. I didn't hear it ring, but they left me a voicemail message. They want me to call back to arrange my admissions interview. One step closer to grad school. As soon as I know when the interview will be, I'll let you know. I'll need tons of prayers, wishes, and other forms of positive energy behind me that day.

~LOVE~

Scratch

Things that I am sick of:

The economy.

Bug bites.

Back pain.

Everyday at my work is an emergency. We're "running lean." This basically means there are too few people doing the work here, not enough product on our shelves to satisfy orders, not enough money in the bank to pay our vendors, not enough customers paying us money for the product we busted our asses to send out to them . . . and the cycle continues. Oh, and our bookkeeper (the smelly one I didn't care for too much) quit, leaving behind quite a mess (literally and figuratively). Also, my cousin just got laid off from his job and that sucks.

Everytime I go out in my backyard, I get bit by bugs. EVERYTIME. It's getting old.

I pulled a muslce in my back a couple weeks ago. The doctors gave me pain killers, but they don't do anything for me. I'm trying to wait it out, but if the pain doesn't go away soon, I have to go to physical therapy.

My brother-in-law, Gilbert, passed away on Memorial Day from a sudden stroke. Fernando and I went up to the funeral on Friday to pay our respects. My sister is now a widow. It breaks my heart. We will miss Gilbert a lot. Not much else to say about that.

The only good news I have to report is that Fernando go a promotion and a raise last week. He also is not taking any classes this summer, so hopefully I'll get to see him in the evenings more often. I'll still be tutoring during the summer, but the hours will be descreasing somewhat.

I hope you are doing well.

~LOVE~

Run

I'm feeling very emotional today. Not sure why. I'll chalk it up to the gloomy weather.

I still haven't updated about New York, but now that I've uploaded the photos, I might be able to do a proper update THIS weekend.

Last weekend turned out alright. On Saturday I had big plans to wake up early, clean the house, cook dinner, and have my friends over. Well, I woke up late, and spent most of the day cathing up on shows on my DVR, but I did actually get a lot of chores done. I watered plants, washed dishes, swept, mopped, cleaned the chinchilla's cage, and made it to the grocery store to pick up ingredients for tacos. I had my friend, Jenn, and her boyfriend, Eric, over for tacos and maragaritas. This marked the first time Fernando and I had guests really sit down to eat at our new kitchen table.

Later that night, Fernando and I made the trek out to Studio City to go to Xenia's 21st Birthday party at Saddle Ranch at City Walk. The place was just too crowded, so we didn't really have a lot of fun. I'm starting to think I'm getting too old to be going to 21st birthday parties anymore . . .

On Sunday, we slept in. I was so tired from staying up late the night before. I tutored for just an hour on Sunday, and since I got done with tutoring early, I stopped at the book store. I had a gift card from Christmas that I was itching to use. I also had a craving for Starbucks. So I ended up picking up the complete Persepolis and the third Twilight book, Eclipse. I went home and started reading, and about an hour later, our friends, Andrew and Amy, stopped by. We drove all the way to Simi Valley to eat pastrami sandwiches at The Hat (I actually had a grilled cheese) and then drove all the way to Canyon Country to have Menchie's (yummy frozen yogurt place). It was a nice end to a pleasant Sunday.

This week has been moving pretty slow. I think I'm going to go for an extra long run/walk today. Maybe I'll run to my parents' house and back? That would be kinda cool. Yeah, that's an idea.

~LOVE~

New York City, Baby!

I'm a terrible blogger. I've been dependent on Twitter for the past couple months, which would explain my lack of real blog posts.

I promise a more fleshed out post later (this weekend), but here's my NYC experience as seen through my Twitter posts (tweets). Of note--these times are all PST, even though I was in EST most of the time.

On my way to LAX. Thanks, hubster, for braving the airport traffic! 8:07 AM Apr 4th from TwitterBerry

Boarding my flight . . . NYC, here I come! 9:40 AM Apr 4th from TwitterBerry

Just touched down at JFK . . . A bit earlier than expected, but that's OK. Time to catch a cab to Brooklyn 2:40 PM Apr 4th from TwitterBerry

Everyone always complains about LA traffic, but NY traffic is worse, in my opinion 3:57 PM Apr 4th from TwitterBerry

Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island weren't on my bucket list, but they've been checked off either way 11:25 AM Apr 5th from TwitterBerry

Gorgeous Spring night in NYC. Gotta soak it in now before the rain arrives. 5:58 PM Apr 5th from TwitterBerry

Bedtime 9:28 PM Apr 5th from TwitterBerry

It's a Museum of Natural History kind of day 9:51 AM Apr 6th from TwitterBerry

I've never eaten a canoli. New York seems like a good place for my first time. 7:07 PM Apr 6th from TwitterBerry

In Harlem, looking for some good soul food or Carribean food 10:47 AM Apr 7th from TwitterBerry

Yummy Caribbean food found--in Washington Heights! El Malecon for mofongo con camarones. 12:04 PM Apr 7th from TwitterBerry

Listening to live jazz music . . . makes me miss my hubby back home :( 9:54 PM Apr 7th from TwitterBerry

Mmmm, I love falafal 6:28 PM Apr 8th from TwitterBerry

'Cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields . . . tomorrow 9:55 PM Apr 8th from TwitterBerry

Looking for a restuarant with good salads in Brooklyn. Any recommendations? 1:40 PM Apr 10th from TwitterBerry

Last day in NY and it's a rainy one 9:12 AM Apr 11th from TwitterBerry

Um, I hope I don't miss my flight . . . 12:47 PM Apr 11th from TwitterBerry

By the way, my feet are soaking wet from this NYC rain 12:56 PM Apr 11th from TwitterBerry

Back in good ol' So Cal. So happy it's gonna be sunny and warm tomorrow :) 8:01 PM Apr 11th from TwitterBerry

~LOVE~

Squeeee!

This time tomorrow, I'll be on a plane (Virgin America, thankyouverymuch) heading to NYC. I can't wait to reunite with my BFF, Tanya, plus the Cal Poly Crew (Kenia, Danny, and Daisy).

~LOVE~

I Feel Better

Just so you know, I am feeling better about the whole "being rejected from grad school again" situation. I know I'm smart, I know I have a bright future ahead of me, and I know I have options. I just needed a little time to wallow in self-pity. Don't we all need that sometimes?

I suppose Vegas may have had something to do with it. One night of party-'til-you-black-out-kind of partying will do that for you (Don't worry, family members who might be reading this--I didn't actually black out, but I did wake up with a nasty hangover brought on by too much Hennessy). Actually, any Hennessy is too much Hennessy. Not.My.Drink.

I'm leaving for NYC on Saturday. I think I already miss Fernando, but the trip should be fun enough to make up for the missing him.

Items on the agenda for New York City:

• Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island Tour
• Central Park (and Strawberry Fields)
• Central Park Zoo
• The Metropolitan Museum of Art
• The Guggenheim
• Hip Hop tour of Harlem (entitled "Walk This Way")
• Gothan Comedy Club
• MoMA
• Times Square
• walking the entire length of the Brooklyn Bridge
• Staten Island Ferry
• Ground Zero
• lots of good food and drink

Sadly, I don't think I'll have time to see a Broadway show. My 10th grade self would totally punch me for saying that, but it's cool. My traveling companion doesn't have the funds for a Broadway show, so I'll have to save that for my next trip to NY (whenever that may be). And I'll be sure to bring Fernando along with me on the next trip.

~LOVE~

Time Line

When I was in sixth grade, my teacher gave us this assignment. We were to create a personal time line of our lives' events. The fun part of the assignment--we didn't just include past events--we got to include future events as we suspected them to happen. When I was finished with the project, I had created the time line of the perfect life. Aside from my past achievements (learning to walk, learning to speak), I predicted I would get my driver's license on my 16th birthday, I'd graduate from high school in 2002, I'd graduate from college in 2006, I'd graduate from veterinary school in 2010, and I'd be married the same year (to a man with a mustache). In 2012, I would give birth to twin girls, Jodi and Jasmine. Surely, I would retire sometime in the year 2049. I planned by death date one day short of my 100th birthday (I've always been one for irony).

I hung that time line up in my room for quite some time and I thought warmly of this perfect little future.

But life happens. I didn't get my driver's license until after my 17th birthday because I was always too busy with theater and church events to practice my driving. My high school graduation date was predetermined, but I wore a different color cap and gown from the picture I drew in 6th grade. I graduated from college in 2006 as predicted, but I didn't immediately go into veterinary (or any grad school for that matter) school. It's already 2009, but I'm already married. And he doesn't have a mustache.

I've just been rejected (again) for grad school. I'm old enough to know that life doesn't always follow the path that we'd like it to take, but I honestly feel very lost at the moment. I don't know what my next step should be.

Being rejected from school, when it's the thing you want most in the world at the moment, isn't just hard. It's soul crushing. I am listless. I have very little motivation. I feel out of control. When I found out, I threw on my running clothes and ran until my lungs burned and my heart was threatening to jump out of my chest. I got in my car and cranked the music so loud the windows shook. I drowned out my thoughts.

I'm seeking salvation. I could win the lottery. I could drink myself under the table. I could have a baby. I could write the great American novel. I could start my own business. Anything at this point to define myself and give my life purpose.

I'm blessed, I know. I have a loving husband who would jump through hoops of fire just to see me smile. I have a family who loves me despite everything. I have a roof over my head. But I still can't help feel like a failure. The time line still haunts me.

It's already 2009. How am I supposed to go to grad school, establish a career, and have twin baby girls before my 29th birthday?

~LOVE~